Being comfortable enough to approach a woman is only half the battle – now you have to get out there and do it.
But don’t worry, because I’m going to make it as fun and effortless as possible.
Approaching a woman is something that may seem a bit overwhelming at first, but it becomes easier with practice.
So first things first. I want you to start approaching PEOPLE in general. I know what you’re thinking. How the hell is approaching fat ugly men going to help me with getting the girl??
Well, my guess is that your approach anxiety is not totally isolated to just hot women you want to “get.” If you can’t approach a 65-year-old man that you have no intention of dating, then you are certainly going to have trouble approaching hot women you want to be with.
Which is why you gotta start off from base-level and work your way up!
Women are attracted to men who have no problem striking up conversations with women in general, but approaching any old person on the street is great PRACTICE for when you want to break the ice with that cute blonde in the coffee shop. Plus it gets your social muscles going and opens you up to the world so that when opportunity strikes, you are ready for it.
Why this skill set is so important
Bottom line is: you’re never going to get the girl unless you LITERALLY go out and get her.
You can be that guy that who sits back and waits around for girls to come to him… constantly settling and only taking what he can get…
OR… you can be a real man who knows exactly what he wants, goes after what he REALLY wants, and has enough confidence in himself to know that he will get just that.
You have to start approaching the women that catch your eye, whether you’re out grocery shopping, at a bar, in line at the coffee shop, in the flower section at the Home Depot… wherever you are, when you have the skill set to actually approach, you can have any woman you want anywhere you go.
I’ve worked with thousands of men over the past ten years, and the most common question I get is: how exactly do I approach a woman and get her to want me?
To which my response is typically: “Do you know how to approach other people? Are you comfortable approaching a random guy on the street?”
The response I usually get back is, “I can’t approach them, either, but what does that have to do with approaching beautiful women I want?”
This comment is very common. In fact, I used to think the same way when I was overcoming my extreme approach anxiety, after I had a stroke at the age of 20.
I used to say; “How does approaching stupid random people help me approach and engage people I actually want to talk to?”
You may believe that your approach anxiety is strictly isolated towards women you find attractive, but I guarantee you that this fear is towards all people that you feel you have no business talking to.
Once you can approach any stranger without too much fear or anxiousness (a little fear is natural and part of the fun!), it will make it 10 times easier to approach women you are attracted to.
Exercise:
1. Approach people you find completely repulsive and hideous
2. Approach women you find completely unattractive
3. Approach women that are attractive but you are not attracted to
4. Approach women you find attractive and absolutely want to talk to
We’re just going to do baby steps for now, and soon, strolling up to a gorgeous woman at the bar or coffee shop is going to feel a lot more natural.
SO… in the next week or so, I want you to approach 10 PEOPLE a day, make great eye contact, and say, “Hi, how are you doing?” then walk away.
I want you to approach completely random people that you’re having absolutely no interactions with whatsoever.
Your only job, other than approaching, is to take notice. Take notice of how people react, respond. Are they surprised? Are they nice? Are they not nice? Are they happy to be approached?
I call this step the light flicker because saying “Hi” to people out of the blue is like flicking a light switch. Suddenly, people become alive under your control.
Dos & Don’ts
• Don’t approach (for this assignment only!) people you talk to on a regular basis, like your boss, coworkers, etc.
• Approach complete strangers!
• Don’t overthink or make excuses for not talking to any random strangers… the goal is to JUST APPROACH at least 10 people
• Keep the intention in your mind that you are just saying “Hi” and nothing more
• Don’t wait for an opening or a “good opportunity”… every chance you have in front of any person IS an opportunity
What mastery of this skill will look like
Increases: Your confidence, comfort level, and energy.
Decreases: Your fear of rejection, attachment to an outcome, and stress levels when approaching those you want to approach.
Overall, it will make it easier for you transfer that comfortable, natural approach to a person you are interested in.
The exercise of approaching 10 people a day is the exact same exercise I gave to myself and the same exercise I have used to coach thousands of men to success with women.
Once you start doing this exercise, you will start to see what myself and thousands of others have seen.
You will see how much you change. You will see how people will start engaging you.
You will see how opportunities are always around you.
Because opening yourself up to everyone makes you ready and prepared for when someone great comes along. If you are not ready, you will miss the opportunity every time.
There is a world of people around you, and it’s time to start noticing.
Think about it from a woman’s point of view. If you are that guy who walks into a place and says Hi to people, starts conversations, engages people, she’s going to want you. You are a man of value, a man everyone knows, or at least she thinks that.
You suddenly become more appealing without saying a single word to her.
On the flip side, if you go unnoticed and suddenly sneak-attack her with an approach, possibly your first approach of the day, and you’re all nervous and don’t know what to say, she’ll write you off in a matter of seconds.
You are not allowed to go home until you approach 10 PEOPLE. People are everywhere: supermarkets, coffee shops, and on the street. Trust me, you can ALWAYS find people, you just gotta make the effort to find them. And remember to have fun!
