Now that you’ve got the courage to walk up to absolutely anybody, it’s time to get more focused on the women you want and set the correct intentions. Setting the correct intentions helps you stay out of your head and alleviates extreme pressures you put on yourself.
This skill set requires you to set your intention for what you want with women, whether it’s what you want out of a conversation, while you’re dating, in your relationship, etc.
I would like you to drill down your intention for approaching attractive women.
I can guess that right now your intention might be pretty large and overwhelming. You might have something like this going on in your head: “That girl is so hot. I want to say something to her… something that gets her to think I’m funny and attractive and makes her want to go out with me and want me bad as hell.”
WHOA, TIGER! That’s WAY TOO BIG of an intention for a girl you know absolutely nothing about.
But honestly, this is how a LOT of men think when it comes to approaching women, which is a LOT of pressure to put on themselves and which NO WONDER makes approaching seem too overwhelming to even do.
You literally only know that she’s good-looking enough for you to want to talk to her. Period.
If you approach a woman already knowing that you want her just because of how she looks, what does that say about your view of you?
It says that you’d better hope she thinks you look good enough for HER to want to talk to YOU. And it also says you have little self-respect and acknowledgment of your own value.
It shows lack of respect for yourself because you already want her without knowing anything about her. And after gaining a great mindset based on the 10 awesome things you know about you, this can hardly be true, right?
So… I want you to drill down your intentions!
Why this skill set is so important
Setting your intention is so important because it helps you to have just ONE baby step in mind when it comes to women.
Not only will it help alleviate some of the pressure you put on yourself in terms of approaching women, it’ll help you be more direct in getting what you want out of your relationships with women.
Have you ever gone grocery shopping without a list after a long day of work and spending way too much time in traffic?
You probably walk in, have no idea where to start, wander around aimlessly with all the other people wandering around aimlessly, pick out things that may catch your eye, realize you’ve spent well over an HOUR just picking up things at random…only to get home and realize you didn’t even get any of the stuff you actually wanted!
Sound familiar? (I know it does for me).
Now imagine instead you walked into a grocery store (yes after work and all that traffic), but you had a LIST.
So with this list of things you want, you immediately head right towards them, ONLY get the things you want without having to wander around and hope you SEE something you might like, head straight for the cashier, and end up home with exactly what you wanted.
This is exactly what dating will be like once you drill down your intentions! So let’s get to it.
Exercise:
I want you to create a new drilled-down intention and then write down this new intention for yourself whenever you see a beautiful girl that you want to approach. Example of a new intention:
“She’s cute. I want to go talk to her and see if she’s cool.”
I want you to create your own intention using your own words, but if mine resonate with you, you can totally borrow them.
The point is to drill down your intention so it’s not so grand and overwhelming. This makes a goal a lot less daunting and scary because your intention doesn’t put her on a pedestal and expect huge outcomes anymore.
It puts HER in the hot seat, because you just want to see if she’s worthy of YOUR time instead of finding out if you’re worth of HERS.
So write down the new intention and stick it in your back pocket. From now on, you will always have your intention in your back pocket and never get trapped in over-thinking the process.
Then next time you see a woman you want to approach, Pause, Remember your new intention, then say 3, 2, 1, GO! And approach.
Dos & Don’ts
Don’t carry an attitude with the frame of mind that, “Okay, this chick BETTER be worth my time,” or, “Oh yeah, what’s so great about YOU?”
Instead, be curious with this first intention in WONDERING if she’ll pique your interest… and then aim to find out
Don’t get caught up in what to do after your first intention before even approaching
Stick to the one intention of going over and talking to her
Begin by talking about something that you noticed about her that DID pique your interest, whether it was the way she ordered her coffee, her Harvard sweatshirt, or maybe the Madonna you could hear blasting from her headphones
Think about what you really want from the interaction from a place that shows how much you respect yourself. What you want is to approach her and see if she’s cool. Then, after you decide she’s cool, you can have a new intention
What mastery of this skill will look like
When you drill back intentions and break them down into little steps, it makes any action:
1. Less scary/risky 2. More successful 3. Easier to complete
Setting your intentions makes your goals with women more achievable. It also stops you from putting her on a pedestal and silently saying to a woman, “Like me! Like me! Like me!” You’re no longer in the hot seat, and you’re now the selector instead of the selected.
It’ll take a LOT of the pressure off you when you go to talk to women because you’re no longer putting yourself in the “option” category. Now SHE is the option, and you’re the one who’s going to choose whether or not you’ll take it (or her).
This exercise is also going to help you stay present in the interaction. If you are overly focused on achieving a future goal, it will be difficult for you be present. And if you are not present, you won’t connect. No connection equals no attraction.
This new, smaller intention shows that you value yourself and that YOU can select who you want to let into your life.
The most IMPORTANT change you’ll get out of drilling down your intentions is keeping yourself OUT of the Friend Zone!
It’s my belief that no woman PUTS you in the Friend Zone…
You put YOURSELF there because you’re PRETENDING to be a friend while secretly having intentions to be her boyfriend.
When you PRETEND to be her friend (and it IS pretending if you actually have feelings for her), you’re not challenging her or calling her out on her shit. You’re not being authentic, you’re being complacent, a “Yes, Ma’am,” and ultimately a weak man with no balls.
You’re not telling her what you want, and you’re afraid to rock the boat by stating your true intentions.
Not being forthcoming with your intentions about a girl is what ultimately lands you in the Friend Zone, and once you drill down your intention and are able to be genuine and honest about it, you’ll never have to worry about ending up there again.
