I have had hundreds of men write in to me asking this question: “What do I talk to women about?” and I always give them the same response: talk to women about whatever you want!
Contrary to what you may think (or desperately hope), there are no secret magical words, phrases, or lines that’ll automatically make a woman throw her panties at you and beg you to take her (I know… I’m sorry to break it to ya).
Nor is it even guaranteed that every woman you have a conversation with will actually be interested in you in return.
In fact, it is not what you say to women, but HOW you say it to them.
If you are comfortable and confident saying “banana, banana, banana” to a woman and really own it, she will be attracted to you.
As I have said before, women are attracted to energies and character, not to specific words. If you speak with passion, excitement, confidence, or knowledge, then you are as good as gold.
It’s when you start formatting your conversation to please a woman that you will turn off women.
So now we’re going to start talking in ways that get women more interested in who YOU are and wanting you in ways that are NOT just friendly and platonic.
Why this skill set is so important
At this point you’re probably AOK with talking to women… but that’s not enough.
It’s not enough to just be able to start a conversation… or even CONTINUE a conversation with a woman.
Because if it’s a woman you WANT, you’re going to need to make a strong enough connection to her in order to get her.
This IS about GETTING the girl. It’s not about talking to the girl and hoping she likes you back while eventually wondering what ever happened to her.
Having a conversation with a woman you want is absolutely pointless if you can’t create a strong enough connection with her that she’ll want to see and talk to you again.
Exercise:
Find a woman and approach her. Tell her you are doing an experiment (because you are).
Then start talking about something you are an expert in or something that you are wildly passionate about.
For example, if you love comic books, tell her about your favorite comic book characters. Or architecture, or video games, or art, or celebrity gossip. Whatever you feel most comfortable talking about. Talk about it and don’t hold back.
Most importantly, talk about WHY you like it and WHY it gets you excited.
Notice her facial expressions and level of involvement when you are speaking. When you are at ease and are comfortable talking, she will be at ease. She will lean in, make eye contact, and hang onto your words.
She does this because you are projecting a character that she can connect to and wants to be around, a character that is passionate, confident, and expressive. Very attractive!
More importantly, she does this because she can FEEL you.
TIP: When interacting with women, it will be the death of you to apply linear logic and consistency.
For women, emotions are everything.
Women absolutely crave men to come up to them and make them feel something. Talking is just one mechanism to do that, so is picking her up and spinning her around, so is kissing her, so is the tone of your voice, and so is what you wear and how you look (to a much lesser extent).
Feelings and emotions are EVERYTHING for us ladies.
If we FEEL that what you are saying is false, we’ll discard you immediately and put up our shields of protection.
Do this exercise with three to five women. I guarantee you will get a similar response from each of them.
Dos & Don’ts
If you’re not at ease and comfortable with your conversation, she will not have much of a response (or even a good one). That is why you must be sure to select a topic you know a lot about and have passion for
Don’t worry about whether or not you think a woman will be INTERESTED in a conversation topic that you enjoy… if YOU enjoy a specific topic and are truly passionate about it, those feelings will be contagious to any woman you come across
Stories are a GREAT thing to talk about for this exercise. If a story resonates with you, chances are they’re going to have the same effect on women. If you can’t come up with something you’re passionate about, tell a great story or one that’s close to your heart
What mastery of this skill will look like
The lessons learned from this experiment will alleviate the pressure to “say the right thing” because you now know that there is no “right thing,”
just the RIGHT WAY.
You’ll start making genuine connections with women where conversations aren’t mundane, you don’t struggle to find things to say, and the conversation is balanced.
You’ll notice women more engaged in YOU and what you’re saying, and you’ll also FEEL more at ease because of the interest women are showing you.
Before, when you struggled with things to talk about or say or ask a woman, you may have noticed how tense you were… and more importantly how tense and bored SHE was.
Now that you can speak with confidence and passion, women will talk to you with the same positive vibes and energy.
Now that you know this, it will be easier for you to break into conversations.
