A man who can’t handle rejection is not a real man. Rejection is going to happen to you. Even masters with women get rejected, but they do something that most men don’t do. They laugh in the face of rejection and use it as ammo to keep going.
Rejection sucks. It does. It sucks for men. It sucks for women (yes, women get rejected, too). Overall it sucks. But it sucks less when you experience it more. Honestly, I know that seems counterintuitive, but it’s true.
I know from my own personal experience that the more I put myself out there and feel the brunt of rejection, the less it actually affects me.
I’m going to be gross for one second, but I was listening to NPR and they were discussing torture victims. They said that those who experienced torture in their lives no longer felt fear. It’s as if they hit their tipping point after being tortured and developed the belief system that nothing could be worse, so why be fearful.
The grueling pain and torture they went through made them push forward even harder… and with more confidence.
I talk to hundreds of guys every week, thousands every month, and they all fear the same thing: REJECTION! So instead of putting themselves out there to possibly be rejected, they don’t do anything and get no results. They sit home and keep to themselves and never talk to the girls that catch their eye… and miss out 100
In my opinion, that’s just silly. They are basically rejecting themselves so that they won’t experience being rejected by a woman.
I was responding to comments that people post on my blog and I stumbled across one that made me think, “This guy gets it!!” This guy gets to how handle rejection by a woman AND how to flip the switch so his response creates attraction. It’s posted below:
n: Hey Marni, I asked this girl out that I had seen at the bar a couple of times. She said no, but then when I didn’t appear upset, she came back and changed her mind. She said it was the confidence in my approach that caused her to come back and find out more.
marni: That’s awesome N. Love that you didn’t get emotionally rattled by a woman’s rejection. Always attractive!
Honestly, there is nothing sexier than a man who is unaffected by my actions. Gives me chills just thinking about it.
Why this skill set is so important
Handling rejection is so important because it signals to me that this man can handle things; he can handle absolutely anything and anyone who comes his way.
When you can handle rejection, it shows that you’re not taking it as a personal blow, not second-guessing yourself on being a super-awesome guy, and that you can handle yourself in tough situations.
Women are inherently drawn to guys who can overcome adversity because, again, back in the caveman days, THESE were the guys who could protect themselves, protect US, and protect the families they helped to create.
Being able to handle rejection is just another part of life where you can either do it or you can’t. And if you’re the type of guy that still knows at the end of the day that you’re one sexy, bad-ass guy that knows it’s HER loss if she doesn’t want you… then you’ll definitely get the women you actually WANT and deserve in the long run.
Exercise: GO OUT AND GET REJECTED 10 TIMES THIS WEEKEND!!!
I am being totally serious. Go out, take chances, approach super-hot women YOU believe would never give you the time of day, say whatever you want to them, and then get rejected and love it! Even smile or laugh to yourself after you get rejected, and then walk away.
I want to hear about all your experiences, stories, successes, and failures, so make sure to come back and write them below in the comments box.
The goal of this exercise is to have fun being rejected. This little psychological tweak will improve your presence with women, help you stay grounded, and teach you how to handle rejection with grace so that women find you attractive.
Go out for the next week and get rejected. Have your goal be getting rejected and why it’s important. Rejection will become less of an issue for you, and it’s not going to kill you and beat down your confidence and you’ll approach people every day.
Rejection is not about you, it’s about the person you’re approaching, and it’s going to be different every time.
Dos & Don’ts
• Since the point is to get rejected, I want you to say absolutely ANYTHING to women you come across
• Don’t worry about being nice, or connecting, or being charming, or making astute observations… just GET OUT THERE and GET REJECTED
• Don’t get angry or explode on women when they reject you; the point is to learn to sit with the discomfort and not take it personally
• If you see a woman you genuinely talk to and get to know, don’t make a point to get rejected by her! Or, if you’re feeling brave enough, you CAN make a point to get rejected by her and try to salvage the situation by explaining the whole experiment to her
• Smile and say, “Great talking to you,” when you walk away after the rejection
• Do something silly when she rejects you. Like pretend she’s just stabbed you the heart and just fall to the ground in pain. Something cute and silly. It shows you are okay with it and can poke fun at what just happened
What mastery of this skill will look like
Once you can master getting rejected, it actually will feel less and less LIKE rejection.
You’ll become more understanding of the differences between people and women in general and stop taking things so personally.
Not only will you be able to take rejection with a grain of salt, you’ll also appear more confident (and sexier) in not letting someone else knock you off your game. You will understand completely that you’re still the awesome, charming, sexy guy that any woman would kill for and can still confidently think so, no matter who wants (or doesn’t want) you.
